Morsels

I may be the last person as obsessed with food and cooking as I am to have made my way to the theater to see Julia and Julie (or vice versa). It’s a sad commentary on my life that I had no girlfriends to go with me — though Dennis and I did get invited by a friend to go to a fabulous screening followed by a four course meal prepared by a local chef. But we were going to be out of town (Maine, lobsters, clams, fine recompense). And then all the women I knew had already gone with their friends. In any case, I have to say that I have the finest, bravest fifteen year old son because he agreed to go with me tonight (Dennis out of town) and sat there and laughed at all the right parts — I think he was a little amazed at all the sex that big galumphing Julia had. But I am hoping he learned something from that… at some point after one of their back and forths (so wonderfully portrayed by Streep and Tucci) I told him I hoped that he found someone in his life to love as much as they did one another. I think he understood what I was saying. Think it might have been overkill if I had suggested we head to the store, grab a duck and debone it together — just for the hell of it? It’s late and I am tired. Not really up to ducks, or sauces, or even poaching an egg.

Also a little jealous of that Julie Powell. Not the best writer but a hell of a concept. I empathized with her and her book dreams (and Julia’s as well). No cooking tonight — just a loaded burger from Five Guys. Yum, yum, yum. And hooray for American cuisine, n’est-ce pas?

I wrote this while we were in Reunion,  Florida — a tribute to the bland and everything poking its way out from under:

Night and the freeway

has emptied. There’s peace

in the long way forward.

The orderly cat’s eyes.

Kleig lights sweep placidly

over this magic kingdom.

Where once there was scrub

and swamp and chicken and king snake

Now landmarks for Magic

and Celebration, Joe’s Crab Shack

and other Happy Havens.

Up and coming, and going.

Mike’s General Auction House

displays 300 backhoes, 20 cantilevered cranes,

60 cherry pickers, lined up justso.

In 4 days at Reunion, we met no one,

spoke only to each other and watched

the Sunday Golfers

hell-bent

in this morning’s squall

to get through the hole.

They curved over their clubs,

braced against the whistling wind.

Grimm brothers.

Years ago and not so far away,

two sisters caught chicken snakes

and sold them at 10 cents a foot to Roy’s Snake Farm.

Oh Apopka, Ocallala, Kissimee.

Celebration. Magic. Animal.

Yield.

My apologies to those of you who do read this relatively regularly and the different looks I am throwing around — think of it as someone trying (ok, me) on new dresses. I’ll settle on one soon enough. Meanwhile, do I look fat in this one?

Couldn’t help myself… we are readying ourselves to head back home and I am glad. I’ll post something I wrote about Reunion later when I have time. But in the meantime, this thought came to me earlier.

It is much better to feel safe TO create than to feel safe WHEN creating.

Chew on that for a bit.

Well, I ought to explain that for awhile now I have wanted to change the direction of this blog (no complaining from the four people who read it regularly!). It has always used food and cooking as a vehicle for talking about life in general and, frankly, the food part feels a little overused at this point. Which doesn’t mean that I won’t write about recipes, etc — there won’t be any fasting involved in this phase!

But I do want to explore what has become over the past few months more and more important to me. That is, how to live life more creatively. Oh, so broad, I know. But for me that encompasses several things — working on approaching business in a more creative way, not letting myself get overwhelmed by the pretty start realities out there (and because this is a personal site, I may not venture there); working on my nacsent drawing and painting skills (such as they are); working on writing and producing SOMETHING (not sure what); and finally, creating a holding place for all the thoughts and links that I can pull together as a resource for someone wanting to explore ways to “master” the creative process.

You can ask (oh, I hear it!) if there is such a thing as mastery; if taming the creative animal is really what it is all about — after all most famous artists (wild exagerration alert) were tormented by their genuis. Right? So, the very clear thinking goes, if I am not tortured/overwrought/obsessed etc, than I am not going to be able to produce anything worthy. Sylvia Plath anyone?

I’m not really interested in following a Plath-y path. But I am interested in making art and writing pieces that resonate not lightly but really deeply with anyone who cares to come along for the ride.

So here goes.

And the fertile soil title perched mysteriously on this post? Well, it has to do with paying attention to your mind (hopefully your not too tortured mind). Last night, I stopped at Heinen’s to do some grocery shopping because we’d been gone all weekend on a marathon driving stint to drop sweet Arthur off at school and there was NO food at the house. So…. in line, tired and I glance over at the magazine stand to see some Home and Garden magazine telling me it IS TIME TO PLANT my garden. Yup, sure it is. It is 18 degrees outside. There are some pointy crocus noses out there but they are mere harbingers. So, I tucked that headline into the scattered recesses of my mind and hurried home. Only to find, when I slept that the headline had grabbed a little more than I thought. So there I was, trying to plant an orphan plant that I had been given and lo! not enough soil at all. Just an empty area where the plant needed to go. But, even in my anxiety dreams I am a resourceful girl. Turns out the area was lousy with fertile soil. All I had to do was go grab it from other spots and put it into the place where my soon to be nourished plant was going to go.

Moral? I am, yes, feeling a little depleted but not depleted enough to know that the possible is always right there. You just have to uncover it, take it for yourself and make use of it.  Hence the semi-public acknowledgment that I need to take the writing here in a new direction.

More to come….